A practical guide to building a bedtime routine for your family
A bedtime routine does not have to be complicated. Keep it consistent, build in connection, and the evenings start to feel less like a battle.
We asked Natalie Graham, a qualified infant and child sleep consultant, to share her practical guide to building a bedtime routine that actually works - the things worth doing, and the habits that quietly get in the way.
Evening can be tough. You are tired, emotions are running high, and the finish line feels very far away. But a few small, consistent changes can make a significant difference to how the end of the day feels - for your little one and for you.
Here is what I recommend to the families I work with: the habits worth building, and the ones worth dropping.
What to avoid
Screens before bed are one of the most common culprits for a difficult wind-down. The blue light emitted by TVs and tablets suppresses melatonin - the hormone that helps little ones settle and stay asleep. Where possible, switch screens off after dinner and replace that time with something quieter and more connected.
It is not just the content of screens that matters - it is the light itself. Even background TV can affect melatonin production in young children, so a full switch-off after dinner is worth the effort.
Hidden sugars are another thing to watch. Desserts and fruit yoghurts can contain more sugar than parents realise, and a spike in blood sugar close to bedtime makes settling harder. If your child is hungry before bed, a balanced snack is absolutely fine - just aim for it at least an hour before lights out.
Going up and down stairs once the routine has started is something I often see derail an otherwise calm evening. Once you are upstairs, stay there. Downstairs tends to signal playtime in a child's mind; upstairs should feel different - calm, predictable, winding down. Breaking that association, even once, can unsettle the whole routine.
Rushing is perhaps the most underestimated factor. Little ones are extraordinarily sensitive to the energy of the adult with them. If you are stressed or hurrying, they feel it. Slowing down - even marginally - and approaching bedtime as something to move through steadily rather than get through quickly makes a real difference to how settled a child feels by the end of it.
What works
Timing matters more than most parents realise. A child who is bouncing off the walls at bedtime is not necessarily full of energy - they may be overtired, which makes settling significantly harder. A child who is melting down may not be ready yet. Finding the window where they are genuinely ready to wind down - tired but not yet overtired - is one of the most valuable things you can do for your evenings.
Overtiredness causes a cortisol spike - the stress hormone - which makes it harder for children to fall asleep and easier for them to wake during the night. Getting ahead of that window, rather than chasing it, is one of the most effective things a consistent routine does.
Connection before the quiet is something I recommend to almost every family. After dinner, lean into high-energy play - rough and tumble, action songs, physical games. It sounds counterintuitive, but this kind of play supports emotional regulation and burns off the energy that might otherwise come out at bedtime. Think of it as filling the connection tank before you ask your child to separate for the night.
Offering small choices within the routine gives children a sense of agency that reduces resistance considerably. Let them choose the bath toy, the pyjamas, the storybook. The structure of the routine remains the same; what changes is that they had a hand in it. From around 12 months onwards, this becomes especially effective.
Consistency is the foundation everything else sits on. A predictable bedtime supports your child's circadian rhythm - their internal 24-hour body clock. When sleep comes at roughly the same time each night, the body begins to prepare for it in advance. That biological readiness is what makes the difference between a child who fights sleep and one who moves toward it.
You do not need a long or elaborate routine. Research consistently shows it is the predictability that matters, not the length. A bath, a story, a song, lights out - done the same way, at the same time, night after night - is as effective as a much longer sequence done inconsistently.
The environment matters too
One thing that often gets overlooked in bedtime routine advice is the sleep environment itself. The routine signals that sleep is coming; the environment either supports that signal or works against it. Light is one of the most powerful factors - even low-level ambient light in a room at bedtime can delay melatonin onset and make settling harder.
This is something SnoozeShade parents often notice at home as well as on the go. The same principle that helps babies nap in a busy park - removing the visual stimulus that gives arousal somewhere to land - applies at bedtime too. Darkness is not just a comfort; it is a biological cue. When the room is genuinely dark, the brain receives a clear, unambiguous signal that it is time to sleep.
If your child's room is difficult to darken fully - a gap in the curtains, a streetlight, the long evenings of summer - it is worth addressing that as part of your routine review, not as a separate problem.
"A calm bedtime routine does not have to be complicated. Keep it consistent, build in connection, and approach the evening as a chance to bond - not battle."
- Natalie Graham, Natalie Sleep Consultant
What time should a baby or toddler's bedtime routine start? ▼
There is no single right answer - it depends on your child's age, wake windows, and the time of their last nap. The most reliable guide is watching for genuine tiredness cues before overtiredness sets in. For most babies and toddlers, this falls somewhere between 6pm and 8pm, but the window matters more than the clock time.
How long should a bedtime routine be? ▼
Research suggests it is consistency, not length, that makes a routine effective. Twenty to thirty minutes is a good target for most families - enough time for a bath, some quiet connection, and a wind-down story. What matters is that it happens in roughly the same sequence, at roughly the same time, every night.
What should I do if my child keeps getting up after bedtime? ▼
Frequent curtain calls are often a sign that the routine needs a small adjustment rather than a complete overhaul. Check the timing first - a child who is not yet ready to sleep will find reasons to get up. Also consider whether the connection part of the routine has been long enough. Sometimes a child who keeps reappearing simply needs a little more time before they feel settled enough to separate.
Does the sleep environment affect the bedtime routine? ▼
Yes - significantly. A room that is too light, too warm, or too stimulating works against even the best routine. Darkness is one of the most powerful cues the body has for sleep. If your routine is consistent but settling is still difficult, the environment is worth reviewing alongside the routine itself.
